Confidence can be fleeting!
It can be dampened by a comment, action or the presence of someone.
As the author of “Who Stole My Confidence? – 7 Rock Solid Steps to Take Yours Back!”, I feel quite knowledgable on the topic. Having worked with hundred of clients over the past several years….I am amazed, how easily it is taken from so many of us. Why do we let this happen?
Whether a supervisor, team manager, partner or friend makes a comment that affects us in a negative way, we immediately start questioning ourselves.
“What did I do wrong?” “Why am I being reprimanded, and not everyone else?” or
“I had no control of the situation!” Seriously the list can go on and on. But the end result is that we are questioning our self worth.
It is a simple fact that the human being is on a constant journey of “seeking pleasure and avoiding pain.” And we are trying to avoid the pain when we are being verbally confronted by someone else.” We will replay what has just happened, until we can bring some closure to it.
This can be professional or personal. But both of them can place “chinks” in our armor of self confidence. After awhile the “damage” has to be addressed, otherwise we begin to become defensive. And that doesn’t help our life personally or professionally!”
You have to “name it to claim it” is pretty apropo. By recognizing what is bothering us, instead of repressing it…we “clear the playing field” in our subconscious. If not, it becomes another piece of negative “luggage” piling up. This is what can erode your self confidence, again and again.
By naming it, then writing it down, regarding what is bothering us, allows us to recognize the “hurt” and address it. Instead of shoving it down and allowing it to fester, we are aware of the situation. Next, write down how you feel about it too. Let your emotions be purged. This could be as simple as a word or a sentence. In crude terminology I tell my clients that this is a “mental enama.” And when you think about it,…it really is.
And this IS healthy step to do. It allows your mind to be cleared of the ongoing clutter that is thrown at you all day long. It is how you stay on top of your emotions, instead of letting them build. And if you continue to do that, the inevitable happens.Eventually you explode, implode or walk around feeling defeated. And that you don’t want.
Staying fresh and aware is critically important everyday. And if you don’t consciously addresss it….trust me, your subconscious will!
The fact remains that we are being judged everyday. Some days you are more aware of it than others. But your “emotional counter” is logging in every event. This can be a very brief exercise, and yet it can have long term positive results.
And since you are in this for the “long run”, why not address how you feel, when verbal comments or looks take place. You know what I am talking about. I’ve been there myself and know how to recognize and deal with it successfully now.
This journey of change is worth it. You no longer need to be a victim of circumstances, you can be a victor and stay in control. And that is all you are really looking for. Like the birds and squirrels in the back yard, “always on the alert”… so can you. It is healthier, emotionally and psychologically.
As a professional speaker, and presentations strategist, I understand how people feel when giving a speech. Their confidence, usually is pretty low…and they do not feel comfortable at the moment. For in their mind they are being judged as they speak. People worry and wonder whether they are being accepted as they present their material. No one likes rejection, so they remained “on edge” as they present. I will gladly send you my free CD on “5 Powerful Steps For A Successful Presentation” if you want to make confident changes! Simply contact me at Eileen@StrongIncentives.com or go to my website EileenStrong.com.
The choice is yours. As the saying goes “If you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you’ve always gotten!”
Choose to change, your worth it. Keep your self confidence, crisp, strong and fresh. The payoff will be a person that people want to be with. Especially you!
Interested in getting a signed copy of my book? I would love to send you one. They are available at Amazon or at my site. Better yet, send me an email at Eileen@StrongIncentives, and I’ll sign it get it out to you at a special introductory price of $8. This is special deal, offered especially for you! And you’re worth it!