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The power of having confidence!

As we go thru life, there are several factors that affect our self esteem and confidence. And it can change daily, weekly or monthly. But it is a fact that your confidence will be challenged either professionally or personally.
A loss of confidence can be like a malignancy. It can eat at you and do long term damage, if you allow it. Self Esteem and confidence go hand in hand even though there is a difference between the two.

You have to take an approach of feeling in control, when you temporarily feel that someone has taken it away from you.
What are the circumstances that have just taken place, where you feel less about yourself. Where you in a group setting, where you were judged by your piers? Where you in professional environment and someone made a corrective criticism about something you just did?
Seriously the situations can and do go on and on, if we let them.
You MUST take a step back when you feel “threatened.” You must review what has gone on to cause that feeling. Nobody, but nobody wants to feel left out…ever. You didn’t want to be that kid who was chosen last on the line up for teams. Why?…because it simply made you feel unworthy. Like nobody cared. And that is where you have to take some responsibility for the rejection and find where y6ur strength is. Being judged by other people hurts. And nobody likes that.
I have frequently used with my clients a technique that is called Neural Linguistic Programing (N.L.P.) And this exercise has you taking a deep breath, pressing your thumb to the first finger on your hand and repeating the following sentence.
“I choose to be in control, feeling strong and confident is O.K. with me.” Say this sentence 1 finger at a time with conviction. Take your thumb and go thru your right hand then switch over to your left hand and repeat that sentence as you press your thumb to each finger….repeating it AND meaning it.
Talk it over with someone, if you are stressed by what has been done or said to you. JUST DONT IGNORE AND REPRESS IT…or you will continue to lose your confidence.
Trust me, you will continually have your confidence challenged thru out your life! Choose to take control and feel focused and crisply aware of your talents. Choose to live in the present and focus on the power of you. Just that alone can be a might challenge. No one but no one can live your life fully. You have the control and the choice to believe and accept yourself!
Look in the mirror and realize what a blessing you are in so many simple but necessary ways! My book “Who Stole My Confidence? 7 Rock Solid Steps To Take Yours Back!” is the right investment in your life at ANY stage!

Not everyone is going to like you!

You have heard of the 80/20 rule? It is true with everything in life….especially when you make a presentation. Even one that you have prepared for!
Vil Pareto in the 1880’s is credited with this statistic that 80% will like and 20% will dislike….no matter what!
And this statistic can be applied to almost anything in life.
Such as you get along with 80% of the people you work with and 20% you have chosen… not to relate to. This statistic is applicable to many other similar things in life…and I am sure you can understand this.
But, the fact remains that when you make a presentation…someone is surely going to find fault with it. And possibly they will even let you know it. It’s their objective to probably let the people around them to know it, and then THEY might even spread the word of their displeasure.
As a professional trainer, I have experienced this more than once! I knew my material. I presented it with credibility. The majority of people who attended, benefitted from the my course. But disharmony existed, and those scorned people let me know it!
So how do you address this? Because this malignancy can do damage to your presentation, your self belief and your presentation skills.
If possible find out what caused them to feel so disgruntled. Ask how you let them down?
Address it in a professional manner and see how you can rectify it for them. They probably will be complimented by your interest in them, and will be pleased to find out that their concern had impact on you!
Then take it to the next step and rectify it when you make that presentation again.
Trial and error is an ongoing deal whenever you present with frequency. Tweak your speech each time….and fewer people will be going “to the dark side.”
Knowing that not everyone will always like you. Just ask any former presidential candidate.
Eileen Strong is eager to create a powerful results presentations for you and your team today.

Got confidence?

Whatever stage in life you might be at, your confidence can be challenged at anytime.
Whether you are in negotiations for a job, promotion or a pay raise, you will probably question yourself. Possibly you will have second thoughts while it is taking place, or more so, you will question yourself after the event is over with.
It will be inevitable that you will have some slight doubt that you may have said something wrong.
This is natural and this is healthy. Be cautious though. You can be your own worst enemy very easily, in your journey of wanting to see only the best results. The best approach is addressing this issue to rehearse your thoughts and your actions!
Review what questions you would ask, if the roles where reversed?
Seriously play it out in your mind. We tend to “beat ourselves up afterwards”…and we do it quite well. Instead, because you were prepared; because you anticipated potential questions or topics. And because of that, no matter what direction the conversation went….you were comfortable. You had confidence. You felt good.

When you carry that strong belief system with you, there is a presence to you. And other people know it.
It might be subtle…but it is to your advantage.

Yes, confidence takes practice. Feeling good about yourself is a constant journey. And it is up to you to control it. Seriously….it is.
Otherwise, fear will take over. Even in the smallest amounts. And then you begin to question yourself again.
Talk it out loud how you want to sound, how you want to look. Get comfortable with it. Take just a few actions and practice them. Then do it again….and again. At a certain point, it will feel comfortable. But it is up to you take the first small step.
This is an investment in yourself and your future. Make it a worthy one. Believe in you and believe in the positive outcome that YOU can generate.
As a presentations skills coach and a therapist, I can help you make changes within your life. Strong Incentives, truly does offer powerful results!

The surprise of success…..

Making a presentation is easy….for me. Making a presentation with confidence, is frustrating and futile for many. The message you want to get across, comes thru in your mind, but not from your mouth. Nerves take over. People are watching you and waiting to hear what you are saying next.
Then fear becomes the inevitable…and you lose the flow of your presentation. Trust me at this point you ARE being your own worst enemy. Your audience, usually is compassionate and will allow a stumble or two. But after that, you have to take control of the situation and realize that it is up to YOU to feel confident and continue to make a presentation of material that is worth listening to.
And the fact remains that this takes practice and confidence and focused concentration of what your objective is.
As an Adjunct Professor of Marketing at Kean, I know what I am speaking about at class that day, but you must be able to flow with the environment. And this takes experience.
Fear can overwhelm many people and they then take a step backwards, and they tend to lose their “mojo” while presenting their topic.
The acronym for fear is F.alse E.xpectations A.ppearing R.eal. But maybe it is not false…maybe you did make a mistake. Simply own up to it, state that you are nervous and take two deep breaths.
I am sure you have heard the sentence “If it is to be, it is up to me.”
Well that is the truth.
Snap out of the fear mode. Become of aware of your skills, take those two deep breaths, anchor your fingers onto something solid….and continue.
Simply keep going. Do not wallow in a communication failure.
Remember that movie “Cool Hand Luke”…where the famous sentence was said…”What we have here is a failure to communicate!”
Well, don’t let a failure become a reality.
Take focus, use your knowledge and knock
your audience out with a surprising good presentation.
Hey “Rocky” did it more than once….and so can you!
You will be surprised by your success!
If you have speaking fears that need to be addressed, contact Strong Incentives, and we will work with you directly to create a presentation that is a “knockout.”
Why not be a winner, who will relish the success of a great presentation, and realize that fear is something that is no longer a part of your speaking repertoire.

The power of failure and embarrassment…..

How frequently we only remember what we ‘screwed up on.” We repeat the atrocity in our mind again and again and again. Rarely do we repeat the moments when everything went smoothly. Those events seem to blend and blur into the past.
If we messed up on a sales presentation and lost the sale….we repeat it again and gain more emotional scar tissue. Yet we spend little time, giving ourselves accolades of praise when we got the sale, or the appointment or even the date that we were hoping to take place.
Everyday truly requires us to recognize even the little things that we did….big or small. Simply recognize them and give yourself credit.
Whether you put in a long day of commuting, being productive at work and dragging yourself back home. RECOGNIZE IT!
This was another day of your life, that you did the best you could do. Stop judging, stop ignoring and start recognizing.
We tend to forget the norm.
We forget the beauty of the brevity of one more day of life.
I recently went to see the replica of Henry Thoreau’s cabin at Walden’s pond. And I purchased his book. It was a wise investment. Everyday I read at least two more pages, just to “check in” with the premise that today was well spent. That today was productive, focused and had an awareness of each activity done.
How we frequently we forget this. WHY?
Stop beating yourself up.
Start giving yourself a “TaDa” everyday.
Recognize the uniqueness of you. Don’t be shy on doing it. Appreciate what you did today.
Seriously you might not get a tomorrow.
Don’t focus on the “oops” but focus on the “wow’s” of the simplicity of today.
It was and is YOUR day and no one else’s.
Claim it and enjoy it because it is your life…and no one can live it like you!!
I have been dubbed the “Attitude Amazon” and intend to make that title stick with style. My company name of Strong Incentives…sounds motivational…and I do motivate…your mind and your belief system. You are worth it!

Dragging lack of confidence in your personal and professional life?

The fact is we are creatures of habit. We tend to drag things along with us. Yes, we have learned a lesson. This is good. BUT we tend to drag the negative and emotional luggage along with us.
Their is a sentence that might seem trite…but it is powerful. And it is……
“Yesterday is history…
Tomorrow is a mystery….and today is the present.”
LIve for today, right now. Make it the best you can. Irrelevant if someone in the office was unethical about something. Take next steps to address it and use the T.L.C. method. This stands for TAKE IT….LEAVE IT….or CHANGE IT.
This is your choice. And if you just drag it with you back home and back to work, you will keep accumulating a lot of negative luggage.
Address the issue, in a mode that works for you.
If it is costing you sleep, write it down, the WHOLE issue….and SHRED IT!
That’s right you read it correctly.
This is a mental “enema”, and you need to get it out of your thoughts.
Take control of your emotions, and chose to respond not react.
You’ll feel better about yourself. Your productivity will improve. And your life will continue…because you are living in the present.

Public Speaking Fears….Why Is It the Worst?

I went to the NJAWBO statewide meeting Thursday, April 1st…introduced myself to many people and remained amazed how many people that I networked with, were confident talking “one to one” but terrified, literally scared of talking to a group.
Why is that?
The fear of making a mistake?
The fear of being judged by someone?
The fear of people talking about you behind their back, after you have finished?
Why?
But the fact remains….the more people that I talked to…they concurred that it truly affected them. The public podium was “not their cup of tea.” They would rather sell to a small group or individually.
In the long run…..this fear can truly affect your ‘bottom line.” Taking control of this “fear” and not letting it affect your confidence is critically important.
Work with a business/presentations coach….LIKE ME….or find one who can train you to a level of confidence…that you no longer keep making excuses.
You have heard it before…..the only fear you have is fear itself….and the acronym for fear is F.alse E.xpectations A.ppearing R.eal.
It is in your mind that is keeping and creating this fear. You can control this emotion. And it IS time to do just that.
Practice…practice….practice. In front of a mirror, and a friend or a pet. They will remain unbiased!

A man that I was networking with yesterday had a speech on being “Green” in the Garden State.
I asked him…”What is your opening sentence?” He said he was going to introduce himself….and then just proceed into his topic.
Within a minute, I told him to change his opening to:
“How many of you have ever seen Sesame Street?
“How many of you know who Kermit the Frog is”
“Well, do you remember Kermits….most famous song…..It’s Not Easy Being Green?”

He thought about this….and his colleague even encouraged him to change his opening….and he agreed!
By asking your audience a question, you engage them. This in turn makes YOU even more comfortable.
Think of the changes you can make the next time you speak. Improvement is easier than you think!
Call me for next steps….your peers will be “green” with envy….when they see the confident speaker you were meant to be!

Eileen Strong
Strong Incentives….Powerful Results…Positive Presentations!